Posts Tagged 'couples marriage'

Positive and Negative Spirals

Our partners in life are one of the biggest influences on our growth, development as a person, and happiness (parents are the other big one). If you’re having trouble, you and your relationship are worth improving!

People tend to underestimate how much of an influence your love partner has on your life. Stop for a minute. This is the person you see every day, who you usually live with, who you talk to about everything (hopefully).

They can help you grow as a person and support your dreams and hopes in life.

They can also influence you in ways you’re not even aware of. Research studies have shown that couples’ rate of breathing, heart rates, and walking paces synchronize when they’re together. Their communication styles also synchronize and they become very efficient at communication. Someone who can do all of this to your body also has an influence on your emotions and mind.

One study showed that negative interactions between couples also synchronize, which means that the “negative spiral” is a real effect! It’s not just in our imaginations that we hit a rough spot. It really does happen. It also means though that you can enter a “positive spiral” and hit a really good spot.

Positive spirals build on each other and help protect the couple when they hit a rougher patch. If you haven’t had a positive spiral in a while, talk to your marriage partner to see if you can shift it together. Do some things you enjoy together to help shift you into a positive spiral.

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Lifetime TV Interview airs tomorrow!


The interview for Lifetime Television airs tomorrow morning at 7 a.m. on “The Balancing Act.” Like always, they’ll let the viewers know about my website and that there are more tips available to them. If you would like to get a preview of “Your Marriage CAN Change Overnight: Ten Tips for Couples in the New Millennium, just go to the website for a Free copy.

I recommended downloading the eBook over just reading the Ten Tips on the website. The eBook goes more into the tips and also includes “Warning Signs of a Marriage in Trouble.”

Most couples intuitively know when their marriage is in trouble. It’s hard for them to seek help though.

Couples therapy or workshops can be like car maintenance. Go get your oil changes or new tires. Therapy is much more difficult if your car is pulled over to the side of the road and is on fire. Even then, plenty of couples are able to turn it around and improve their marriages.

Almost by definition, a couples therapist is going to have hope for your marriage – that it can improve, change, that both of you can be happy and grow, that you can make your way through this rough spot and onto safer ground. This is my hope for any marriage in trouble.